Rumble on Ramayana

I grew up on Ramayana and Mahabharatha in my childhood, the illustrated versions though. As I matured into an immature fierce leftist, I devoured the book Ramayana Visha Vruksham (Ramayana- The Poisonous Tree ) by another immature leftist writer, Ranganayakamma. Though I loved the book at that point of time and used to quote profusely from the book to prove Rama did not exist, a decade later ( matured into an immature Capitalist sympathizer) when I re-read the book, I realized it was a complete trash. The adage, “ If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, confuse them with bull shit” suits best for this book. The point I wanted to make is two or three decades back a writer could trash Ramayana and Rama and still not get beaten up or shot at. We did not have then the saffron brigade demolishing mosques and lynching communities or green berets planting RDX in temples and public places. So it was very amusing to me following the recent high drama on the Rama Sethu ( Adam’s bridge ), where every politician had a ready sound bite.

This piece is just an attempt at humour. Malice to None.

A film buff like me who has dreams of making a film one day but doesn’t have money applies to National Film Development Corporation for finance to produce Ramayana. The NFDC did not want to take a call on its own scared of the controversy that has recently blown across the country. So NFDC formed a committee with all government departments to go through the script and comment. Here are the comments from each of the departments.

The National Commission for Women:- We strongly object to the portion of the script where Dasaratha is shown as bygamous having more than one wife. That portion needs to be deleted.

The Ministry of Child Welfare and Family Planning:- The script shows Dasaratha having four children. This negates all the progress we have made in convincing people to have not more than two children. The script needs to be amended accordingly.

The Ministry of Labour:- War being a hazardous industry, and Viswamithra has used both Rama and Laxmana in war with Demons while both of them are still minors , this depiction will be construed as a case of child labour. Also there is no record of being paid any compensation. This may also be deemed to be violatory of the provisions of The Child Labour (Prohibition and Regulation) Act, 1986 and Minimum Wages Act, 1948. Such references in the script may be removed.

The Ministry of Women Welfare:- Sitha appears to be a minor at the time of marriage. This depiction can be construed as violation of Child Marriage Act. Such reference should be removed from the script.

Home Ministry:- The entire episode of Ravana and Maricha plotting and executing the abduction of Sitha is a punishable crime. Maricha should be booked for abetting abduction and Ravana booked for abduction. The script needs to be suitably amended.

The Ministry of Animal Welfare:- The episode of building Rama Sethu by Monkeys and making them participate in the war is depicting Violation of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act. Hence this needs to be deleted.

The Minitsry of Women Welfare:- The depiction of Sitha being asked to enter the fire pit to prove her purity falls under the purview of IPC 498 A, which is enacted to prevent husbands mistreating the wives. This is a non- bailable offense. This portion should be deleted.

In view of the above recommendations from various ministries, the NFDC finds itself with no script at all. Hence, NFDC informs the applicant, it is not in a position to finance the film.